Our first guest contribution comes from our esteemed colleague, The Balding Conservative.
—
Every family has one. If you think your family doesn’t, then take a good hard look in the mirror because chances are it’s you. For those of us aware of the concept, the Drunk Uncle is a fixture of family gatherings. You can always count on his attendance at the annual Thanksgiving feast and 4th of July cookout. While his presence is not always celebrated, it is expected, it is tolerated, and it is mitigated.
The Drunk Uncle embodies everything we love and hate about these assemblies. He is the person to make an inappropriate comment on your cousin’s recent weight gain, and most likely elevate the volume level at the dinner table. He’s the one you can count on to cause an awkward silence or two, and to say something just to get a reaction out of his sister in law.
He can be a hassle to accommodate, he can be a pain in the ass, but we put up with him. He is family, he is blood, he is kin.
He’s also really f*!#ing entertaining.
Once you get past the inappropriate comments, and boisterous proclamations, you have to give him credit for the entertainment value he brings to the literal and figurative table. He says what he is thinking, and he doesn’t give two sh**s whether or not it is appropriate table fodder. In fact, most often the majority of attendees secretively enjoy his presence, and look forward to the shenanigans every year. He is a refreshing addition to a potentially droll situation.
The problem with this is that the Drunk Uncle paradox rarely translates to anything else in our lives. Take him out of the family circle and you must constantly be on guard that he does not embarrass you, or the family, in front of the world.
Donald Trump is the Drunk Uncle of the Conservative Party.
Let that sink in for a minute. The man that we determined should be the voice of our party, out of the 17 people that showed up for dinner, is the our Drunk Uncle.
I’m not saying that any one of the other 16 dinner guests were the ideal representatives: the one that it’s just understood that carves the turkey and says grace. But still, we went with the Drunk Uncle.
In a way, I get it. People were tired with the status quo, the redundancy and predictability of usual candidates wore on folks, and they wanted a breath of fresh (different) air. The notions of “he says what’s on his mind” and “he doesn’t care what others think” were novelties that appealed to a lot of people. This is also a very scary concept.
I’d like to think that Trump is a smart man, that now that he has the nod he’ll dial it back. He had to assume this persona to separate himself from such a large field. Maybe we’ll see a shift now that he needs to win over a larger audience. The problem is that he can’t un-say all of the things that he did to get to this place. You can’t erase that, or hope people forget in this day and age. The fact is that he’s said certain things that were insensitive, ignorant, and hurtful to many people. That most people with a brain will see right through whatever new stance he might take in the future. And who’s to say that if he is elected, he might not say something off the cuff that incites the American people, or the world. If the Drunk Uncle is the guy who you’d find throwing firecrackers in the backyard with the kids, Trump is the leader that would drop a sound bite that could set off a firestorm. In the confines of a family gathering this could be contained and dealt with, on a worldwide stage this is a terrifying concept.
I love our country. I trust that the men who set up our government 240 years ago made it so that no single person could do irreparable harm over the course of 4 years. What I am most scared of is with the current state of things- racial tension at home, religious conflicts worldwide – that we are sitting on a powder keg. And we just chose to give our Drunk Uncle, outfitted with a handful of fireworks, the nod to lead the family prayer.