Sometimes I’m not even sure if I like my locs.
I’m extremely self-conscious of them. I often find myself peering into any reflective surface hoping no one will notice and lamenting as to their thickness or lack thereof. Their texture, thanks to my not-really-that-kinky-but-just-enough hair, seems too soft. I am constantly bothering with the band I use to tie them back and keep them out of my face. This is probably extremely noticeable I think to myself. But I can’t help it. Trivial as it may seem I can think of few things that cause me more latent stress.…with the exception of the rise of Donald Trump. But we’ll save that for a later post.
Sometimes I find that I am in love with my locs. I can think of few things that become more of an immediate physical identifier than one’s hair (sorry to my follicle challenged friends out there). They’ve become a major part of my identity even though it hasn’t even been three years since I’ve started them. I often find that my hair is the one of the first things anyone will notice about me. I often find that I appreciate that. Even though I also do my best to fully appreciate the now ten year old message of empowerment from the great India.Arie. Particularly female empowerment. Particularly black female empowerment. In a world where this is the reality there isn’t enough of that out here. Women of color are constantly battling what seems like a never ending assault rooted in either racism, misogyny, or both. I do my best to recognize my privilege.
Given these parameters one can imagine what it might feel like to have to consider cutting my hair in order to have a successful legal career. It’s an idea I find particularly discomforting as I plan to embark on what’s been described by some as the greatest experience of their lives and by others the worst.
The other idea I find perhaps more discomforting and much more intellectually challenging: that I may need to alter a much deeper element of my identity – my politics.
It probably isn’t necessary to immediately delve too deeply into all of the challenges associated with being a young black man with dreadlocs attempting to successfully complete a legal education, and then using that legal education to successfully challenge institutional elements of our society that often make it hard for young black men with dreadlocs among other things. There will be plenty of time for that. But you get the picture. Or at least I’ll consider it my job to make it so that eventually…you will.
It is necessary to explain that I hope to use this space to be able to adequately express my thoughts in a way that will invoke some damn good conversation. I think it’s also necessary to make it very clear that my identity and life experience absolutely influence my world view. So I felt I would use the moniker The Dreaded Liberal to pay homage to my heritage, my identity, and my culture. Who I am and what I’m about. Fully recognizing the etymology behind both terms and fully not giving af.
I also want to use this space to talk about other stuff besides race and politics. Culture, sports, music, television, film, among other things. You know. Fun internet stuff with my friends. Hopefully I can find a group of folks that are interested in contributing and we can have all sorts of columns on all sorts of things.
I have no idea how often I’ll be posting. I have no idea how long it will last. I have no idea if this will be any good. Most of the time starting a blog has come up, the conversation usually goes something like:
Them: You should write a blog.
Me: Yeah but you need to be a good writer to do that.
So. I guess we’ll see. Apparently in order to be a decent attorney having a rudimentary grasp of the English language is important.
Well now we can’t say I didn’t try.